I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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