Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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