My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
