Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
