I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm always down for nudity.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
