I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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