Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
