girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
