i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
tell me about the eggs
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
