all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
