these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
