i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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