If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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