So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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