We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
