three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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