oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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