So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
