i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
