I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
