Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
