last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
