I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
