So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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