I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
