At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
