Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
