I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
