one might say we're banned from that church
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
