why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
