Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
