i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
handjob tips. give me some.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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