HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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