I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
