Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
