so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
