in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So much rum. So many feels.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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