Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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