are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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