What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
