Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
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