I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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