my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
