hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I need moral support for this bender
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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