do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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