Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
