Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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