the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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