I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
