Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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