i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
