So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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