We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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