alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
